Right time/Right place

It's funny how life plays like a stack of dominoes. If one thing goes wrong it seems as if everything is going wrong but recently I've experienced the positive domino effect in which one thing is going great and other things follow. This is a strange phenomenon for me because I am extremely pessimistic but I have to admit i'm not complaining. I think the great thing about good energy/karma/aura or whatever it could be is that it makes everything so much more meaningful and wonderful. When your sad and depressed you don't notice your amazing friends, or your crazy but lovable family, or even that great guy you keep overlooking. Happiness is like a pair of awesome glasses that shows your world 20/20 or even in HD.

Prisoner of War

Everyday is a battle, a struggle to survive, and endurance is requred. Is this a war of epic proportions? A war of oppression? Of hate? No its a much internal war...a battle in your own body. I've heard of prisoner of war but imagine being a prisoner in your body. If your body was losing a fight against itself and everyday is a constant pain because you can't function properly.

I've been to so many doctors I can line them up to the Great Wall. What is devasting about being ill is not knowing what or why your body is behaving the way it does. Having a doctor tell you "you're perfectly healthy" but feeling like your body is telling you something is wrong. One possiblility is that you are a Hypochondriac?? Ok then where is my placebo pills...maybe that will help with the pain everyday. A healthy dose of denial or acceptace of your "perfect Health" doesn't do it either.

The saying about appreciating what you don't have is very true. I wish I could be healthy... I mean really healthy no doctor rushing me out of the room and telling me I'm OK. A day where I can wake up and feel like everyone else. Where I don't feel like I been sucker punched by Mike Tyson. Where my body and me can understand each other Finally! That day will be the best day of my life!

Chill out!!

Have you ever felt like your life was a Seinfeld episode?? Like a neurotic and analytical calculator?? If you answered yes or partially yes then congratulations...You are Neurotic, like me! Yes I will admit it I over analyze EVERYTHING but I can't help it, I blame teachers. If it weren't for teachers making us analyze books and life we wouldn't take this skill to our own mediocre life. Lets see just to show everyone how neurotic I am i will show the mind of an over analyzer. Hmm lets take a word like...sure! Ok this seems simple enough it certainly does not mean No, absolutely no, Hell no.. ok those are knocked down, but now the difficult part Does it mean YES! Or is it MAYBE? Does sure! mean I guess I'm not doing anything special I will participate in whatever you have planned! OR does it mean Sure! I'd love to do that, sounds awesome! See there is so much discrepancy over this Sure word. SO be gentle world because us neurotics have to live our lives examining things YOU say is simple but to us is like a jigsaw puzzle. I once saw this yahoo question where a girl posted, " If a guy says your cute what does it mean?" and everyone answered "wth kind of question is that, Duh it means HE THINKS YOUR CUTE but I understand her... I mean I wouldn't post that kind of question online but I get her....I get her.

Why so mad?

One of the many perplexities of life or in my life is understanding how people can be forgiving or willing to let go of anger. I can't imagine how someone like Nelson Mandela who spent over two decades in prison for being an activist can overcome the wrongdoings done to him. Not only did this guy forgive the people who wronged him but he tried to unite everyone and fairly govern many racist and hateful people. I think he is rubix cube of the century.




Maybe he is a super human... u know like x-men except his power is forgiveness and love or something. Or maybe its like adrenaline, many people are not aware of what they are capable of. Maybe we are capable of being something much more than we assume under extraordinary circumstances. Assuming that i was put under the same circumstance as Mandela I think I would have turned into a bitter and anger person. I would be pissed at everyone, no discretion on race, sex.... just a human person that is who i would not like.



It's funny one of the most interesting things about Malcolm X is that in the beginning he seemed to be angry and resentment at whites and blacks who he deemed pacifist but through time, wisdom, and his beliefs he seemed to change his believes he let go of all that anger.




You see i understand Malcolm because he eventually become like that but its hard for me to understand people like Nelson Mandela or Anne Frank. People who experience extraordinary hate, human depravity, malice, and devastation but somehow still see the future with hope, love, and forgiveness. I've heard one of my teachers say that people would not appreciate happiness if it were not for sadness. Maybe these people experienced such negative things in their life that they appreciated and love the beautiful things in life. So this is an ode to the people i don't get but deeply admire and respect.

Can't help but wait

Its been called over rated, amazing, sinful, disgusting, and talked about 24/7 by every adolescent male. Yes u know what I am talking about, you know making love, doing the nasty, baby making or sex as most of us know it as. So is sex really that incredible and important or is it the hungover of the century  (im referring to the movie). Can people in their sexual peak hold the compulsion to have sex for at least a week...a couple days..hours? I'm not going to name names but apparently in my experience guys and even some girls can't wait. Im not a believer in waiting before marriage, honestly I think people should do whatever they feel is right for them. If you want to wait then wait if you don't then don't but don't make the other side feel bad because they are not doing what you want them to do.




The waiting im speaking of is not till marriage but waiting until someone is ready to have sex. Is it really that hard for someone to withhold sex while dating? Did we become so hedonistic that time is actually the enemy against sex? Mitch Fatel once joked that a woman told him she had a three month rule before having sex so he replied " okay i will see you in three months". These questions are not in any way trying to shame people for wanting to have sex. I get it sex feels good and young people are in the habit of exploring all good feelings things. But the issue of sex does put another component to the complexity of relationships and dating. Its already hard enough getting to know someone, learning to adapt to their personality, and dealing with feelings added to that is sex. and if the sex is not good all the above can be thrown out the window.

If someone wants to have sex all day everyday no waiting then I say go ahead and be safe out there soldier, but if someone wants to become involved with an individual who has a time frame then wait for them. After all patience is a virtue and all the wait will be worth it!

Your a jerk...I know

Men are split into two broad groups, the assholes and the nice guys. Although its a broad generalization women tend to fall for the asshole and dismiss the nice guys. So what the hell is an asshole? Are there good/bad assholes? and can a woman be an asshole? The answer to the first question is difficult, second and third question are presumably yes and most definitely yes! How do I know this...because I am a woman who happens to be an asshole and proud of it too!

In life there is always a positive and negative aspect of human characteristics for example passion is said to be a good thing, but passion can run both ways. In can inspire someone to end world poverty while also making someone else lose their mind chasing after delusion. Pride can also be looked at as a virtue or a burden. Sometimes pride can create a sense of honor while other times it makes us judgmental or narrow minded. So what about assholeism what is the good and bad side of that. A positive asshole is someone who won't change their beliefs because its not popular, someone who does not let things define them, who always speaks their mind and is not afraid. And the negative assholes they have the same qualities as the positive assholes but they just possess one extra thing...they are malice and non remorseful/spitful. 

Like most Shakespearean tales there is always a balancing act that is performed by the protagonist. Positive assholes sometimes exhibit negative asshole qualities but generally speaking they are not malicious or evil but negative assholes will always be self-centered and self-satisfying. As for me i would like to think that im a good asshole(ignore the pun). I'm not going to back down because someone doesn't like what I have to say,  

Its a right not a privilege

Aretha Franklin would be very disappointed to know that men are increasingly becoming disrespectful to women. In my recent encounters, I have been (mis)informed that apparently some women deserve respect while others don't. Hmmm... this is the dumbest thing i have ever heard!! For the men out there that treat ALL women with respect, I would like to say thank you because you are a REAL men. A real man would not respect certain women while treating others like "bitches" and to those that disrespect us......Grow the hell up! instead of complaining about females why don't you work on YOURSELF maybe the reason you have trust issues or lack respect has to do with YOU and not women. It should not be a question as to whether you should give women respect. There is a basic level of respect that should be given to everyone, granted you can have more respect for one girl than the other but you don't have the right to call the other girl names, talk to her like an animal, or think you can say/do whatever you want. I am a firm believer in Karma...and you know what they say Karma is a bitch! and hopefully it will be served cold to straighten all the disrespectful men out there.