Right time/Right place

It's funny how life plays like a stack of dominoes. If one thing goes wrong it seems as if everything is going wrong but recently I've experienced the positive domino effect in which one thing is going great and other things follow. This is a strange phenomenon for me because I am extremely pessimistic but I have to admit i'm not complaining. I think the great thing about good energy/karma/aura or whatever it could be is that it makes everything so much more meaningful and wonderful. When your sad and depressed you don't notice your amazing friends, or your crazy but lovable family, or even that great guy you keep overlooking. Happiness is like a pair of awesome glasses that shows your world 20/20 or even in HD.

Prisoner of War

Everyday is a battle, a struggle to survive, and endurance is requred. Is this a war of epic proportions? A war of oppression? Of hate? No its a much internal war...a battle in your own body. I've heard of prisoner of war but imagine being a prisoner in your body. If your body was losing a fight against itself and everyday is a constant pain because you can't function properly.

I've been to so many doctors I can line them up to the Great Wall. What is devasting about being ill is not knowing what or why your body is behaving the way it does. Having a doctor tell you "you're perfectly healthy" but feeling like your body is telling you something is wrong. One possiblility is that you are a Hypochondriac?? Ok then where is my placebo pills...maybe that will help with the pain everyday. A healthy dose of denial or acceptace of your "perfect Health" doesn't do it either.

The saying about appreciating what you don't have is very true. I wish I could be healthy... I mean really healthy no doctor rushing me out of the room and telling me I'm OK. A day where I can wake up and feel like everyone else. Where I don't feel like I been sucker punched by Mike Tyson. Where my body and me can understand each other Finally! That day will be the best day of my life!

Chill out!!

Have you ever felt like your life was a Seinfeld episode?? Like a neurotic and analytical calculator?? If you answered yes or partially yes then congratulations...You are Neurotic, like me! Yes I will admit it I over analyze EVERYTHING but I can't help it, I blame teachers. If it weren't for teachers making us analyze books and life we wouldn't take this skill to our own mediocre life. Lets see just to show everyone how neurotic I am i will show the mind of an over analyzer. Hmm lets take a word like...sure! Ok this seems simple enough it certainly does not mean No, absolutely no, Hell no.. ok those are knocked down, but now the difficult part Does it mean YES! Or is it MAYBE? Does sure! mean I guess I'm not doing anything special I will participate in whatever you have planned! OR does it mean Sure! I'd love to do that, sounds awesome! See there is so much discrepancy over this Sure word. SO be gentle world because us neurotics have to live our lives examining things YOU say is simple but to us is like a jigsaw puzzle. I once saw this yahoo question where a girl posted, " If a guy says your cute what does it mean?" and everyone answered "wth kind of question is that, Duh it means HE THINKS YOUR CUTE but I understand her... I mean I wouldn't post that kind of question online but I get her....I get her.

Why so mad?

One of the many perplexities of life or in my life is understanding how people can be forgiving or willing to let go of anger. I can't imagine how someone like Nelson Mandela who spent over two decades in prison for being an activist can overcome the wrongdoings done to him. Not only did this guy forgive the people who wronged him but he tried to unite everyone and fairly govern many racist and hateful people. I think he is rubix cube of the century.




Maybe he is a super human... u know like x-men except his power is forgiveness and love or something. Or maybe its like adrenaline, many people are not aware of what they are capable of. Maybe we are capable of being something much more than we assume under extraordinary circumstances. Assuming that i was put under the same circumstance as Mandela I think I would have turned into a bitter and anger person. I would be pissed at everyone, no discretion on race, sex.... just a human person that is who i would not like.



It's funny one of the most interesting things about Malcolm X is that in the beginning he seemed to be angry and resentment at whites and blacks who he deemed pacifist but through time, wisdom, and his beliefs he seemed to change his believes he let go of all that anger.




You see i understand Malcolm because he eventually become like that but its hard for me to understand people like Nelson Mandela or Anne Frank. People who experience extraordinary hate, human depravity, malice, and devastation but somehow still see the future with hope, love, and forgiveness. I've heard one of my teachers say that people would not appreciate happiness if it were not for sadness. Maybe these people experienced such negative things in their life that they appreciated and love the beautiful things in life. So this is an ode to the people i don't get but deeply admire and respect.

Can't help but wait

Its been called over rated, amazing, sinful, disgusting, and talked about 24/7 by every adolescent male. Yes u know what I am talking about, you know making love, doing the nasty, baby making or sex as most of us know it as. So is sex really that incredible and important or is it the hungover of the century  (im referring to the movie). Can people in their sexual peak hold the compulsion to have sex for at least a week...a couple days..hours? I'm not going to name names but apparently in my experience guys and even some girls can't wait. Im not a believer in waiting before marriage, honestly I think people should do whatever they feel is right for them. If you want to wait then wait if you don't then don't but don't make the other side feel bad because they are not doing what you want them to do.




The waiting im speaking of is not till marriage but waiting until someone is ready to have sex. Is it really that hard for someone to withhold sex while dating? Did we become so hedonistic that time is actually the enemy against sex? Mitch Fatel once joked that a woman told him she had a three month rule before having sex so he replied " okay i will see you in three months". These questions are not in any way trying to shame people for wanting to have sex. I get it sex feels good and young people are in the habit of exploring all good feelings things. But the issue of sex does put another component to the complexity of relationships and dating. Its already hard enough getting to know someone, learning to adapt to their personality, and dealing with feelings added to that is sex. and if the sex is not good all the above can be thrown out the window.

If someone wants to have sex all day everyday no waiting then I say go ahead and be safe out there soldier, but if someone wants to become involved with an individual who has a time frame then wait for them. After all patience is a virtue and all the wait will be worth it!

Your a jerk...I know

Men are split into two broad groups, the assholes and the nice guys. Although its a broad generalization women tend to fall for the asshole and dismiss the nice guys. So what the hell is an asshole? Are there good/bad assholes? and can a woman be an asshole? The answer to the first question is difficult, second and third question are presumably yes and most definitely yes! How do I know this...because I am a woman who happens to be an asshole and proud of it too!

In life there is always a positive and negative aspect of human characteristics for example passion is said to be a good thing, but passion can run both ways. In can inspire someone to end world poverty while also making someone else lose their mind chasing after delusion. Pride can also be looked at as a virtue or a burden. Sometimes pride can create a sense of honor while other times it makes us judgmental or narrow minded. So what about assholeism what is the good and bad side of that. A positive asshole is someone who won't change their beliefs because its not popular, someone who does not let things define them, who always speaks their mind and is not afraid. And the negative assholes they have the same qualities as the positive assholes but they just possess one extra thing...they are malice and non remorseful/spitful. 

Like most Shakespearean tales there is always a balancing act that is performed by the protagonist. Positive assholes sometimes exhibit negative asshole qualities but generally speaking they are not malicious or evil but negative assholes will always be self-centered and self-satisfying. As for me i would like to think that im a good asshole(ignore the pun). I'm not going to back down because someone doesn't like what I have to say,  

Its a right not a privilege

Aretha Franklin would be very disappointed to know that men are increasingly becoming disrespectful to women. In my recent encounters, I have been (mis)informed that apparently some women deserve respect while others don't. Hmmm... this is the dumbest thing i have ever heard!! For the men out there that treat ALL women with respect, I would like to say thank you because you are a REAL men. A real man would not respect certain women while treating others like "bitches" and to those that disrespect us......Grow the hell up! instead of complaining about females why don't you work on YOURSELF maybe the reason you have trust issues or lack respect has to do with YOU and not women. It should not be a question as to whether you should give women respect. There is a basic level of respect that should be given to everyone, granted you can have more respect for one girl than the other but you don't have the right to call the other girl names, talk to her like an animal, or think you can say/do whatever you want. I am a firm believer in Karma...and you know what they say Karma is a bitch! and hopefully it will be served cold to straighten all the disrespectful men out there.

Keep your hands to yourself!

As an adult looking at little kids interact with their parents is a heart warming site. Recently I have noticed how affectionate most parents are with their children and vice versa. I see countless children snuggling up to their mothers and even being affectionate towards guests in the house. Don't get me wrong I think its great that these children are learning to embrace affection but i find it incomprehensible for me to be that way. I swear I cringe when someone hugs me too long or a little kid snuggles up to me...excuse can you move over, this is my private space.

Even these Tigers are more affectionate than me.

I'm not sure if it is related to my childhood...maybe i didn't receive enough hugs? enough time breastfeeding?

or maybe i'm just not affectionate person. I don't know the details behind it. The thing i hate about not being affectionate is dealing with guys who ARE affectionate and most guys who have shown interest in me have been very touchy feely. Warning to anyone like me these pictures will incite fear and nightmares.

Holding hands, i could write a thesis paper on why i despise these type of human interaction. First of all i don't know where the other person's hands have been, second i don't understand why u need my hands you already have two, third, what does putting my hands and your hands together do, and lastly i don't like feelings someone's hand its very weird and i despise it. Every time someone has held my hand i felt like a hostage crisis was taking place. I'm thinking, hmm how can i get my hand back, how long is this going to last, should i offer something so i can get my hand returned. 

Touching in general also bothers me. Why do people have a need to touch you when they like you. I get maybe coping a feel, a hug then UNHUG but touching and keep touching oh my god stop with the torment. Do you not know how a human being feels? Do you have amnesia? I don't understand this one bit. I have never touched someone continuously but i have had this done to me and i do not like it one bit.

Oh i forgot to mention poking and baby talking that bothers me!! Really are you poking me like I am dough and what is up with the baby talking my little honey drop sugar plum cherry cake, Ugh stop i will vomit. But i will say after all that rant about personal space i have and will allow someone who i really adore to touch/hug me if they want to... I mean we all have our weird fetishes and that just happens to be his. 

Caution if you are not this guy im talking about prepared to be punched in the face if you come to close to me, i dont mean a slap/smack i mean a PUNCH like clinched fists and face meeting.

womp womp womp!

Pessimist! negative Ned! Debbie downer! Do these names conjure up an image in your mind? In order to answer the question, you must determine where do you lie on the issue. Are you an optimists or a pessimist? If your the first then these kind of people really annoy you. You do not enjoy being around them and you feel like they bring you down. If you are a pessimist your are a fervent believer in "being real" and you dislike optimists and think they are day dreamers or fools.


As classic candidate for pessimists of America i can say that coming to grips with negative thinking is a process. First its confidence, hey i know what bad things lie in this world, i can predict negative outcomes, i am so smart! second its self- fulfilling, see i knew it i mean i thought it would happen and it did. Third it is victimization, i don't have control over these negative outcomes, why me? and finally if you get to the final stage is realization, damn this kind of thinking isn't helping me out! No one who is an optimist ever says, "all these happy thoughts and positive outlooks on life is really causing me damage and stress!"



So the lesson to be learned is that it's better to be an optimist than a pessimist. and changing your thinking is very easy and very hard at the same time. It did not take you a day to become negative and it won't take a day for you to change but in the wise words of Bobby Mcferrin, "Don't worry be happy".

How to know If your straight?

Hey you Fella! Do you have a problem admitting your heterosexuality. Do you feel embarrassed or ashamed well don't worry. Just take this test to find out if your really heterosexual and all that stress can be dealt with in therapy. Answer each question yes or no. If you have 8 points or higher CONGRATULATIONS you are a heterosexual. Now you know and you don't have to worry for the rest of your life. Lets begin.


1. Do you find yourself sexually aroused by the opposite sex?
2. Have you or are you planning on having sex in the missionary position?
3. Have you ever stared at a woman's breast/butt or both?
4. Would you describe Lady Gaga as weird?
5.  Do you not find gay men as potential lovers?
6. Do hate disco/techno music?
7. Are your parent's homosexuals?
8. Have you rarely had impulses to touch a guy's junk?
9. Would you rather have sex with a girl than discuss her philosophical outlook on cat food?
10. Would you say you like donuts over Bananas?

Now that you figured out your a straightie, you can come to terms with your heterosexuality. It's ok we all love you if though your a hetero!

I am woman, hear me roar!

I have always had the image of feminist as crazy, hairy, nut jobs but my views have completely changed. Yes there are very liberal feminist in this world but you don't have to be a raging liberal to be a feminist. I like to call myself a womanist! I vow from this day on to be proud of who i am and to honor the prestige of being a women. All women of all ages, races, nationalities, and sexual orientation have endured pain, heartache, and trauma but they triumph with grace, pose, and effortless strength!

Addicted to love?

I was watching an episode of the Real World titled Addicted to love and it got me thinking... What does that mean? Aren't all human beings wanting and needing love, so are we all addicts? or maybe recreational users?


Speaking for myself I have always been addicted to love...hmm lets say I was/am in love with love. Maybe that is what us love addicts are, we get our high from the idea of love and sometimes not from the person themselves. Addiction no matter what the substance that is abused is never healthy though. Love addicts beware if you do not get in addiction in check then heartache, failed relationships, and unsatisfaction await!




Love is wonderful, painful, crazy, and amazing all at once but that is some hard drug and needs to be taken in small doses. If we chase after love endlessly we tend to get disappointed. What makes love so incredible is that it happens all on its own without our knowledge... at least initially. So do as we did the first time around, sit back, chill, and if love comes knocking let it go on autopilot and enjoy the ride.

ode to la Chappelle

If theres anything that anyone will remember about me is that i love Dave Chappelle! Its funny too because he dislikes people who idolize celebrities but i can't help myself. The main reason i love him is because he is more than a comedian. He is actually really observant of the hypocrisy and the irony of life which is why he is so funny. Not like Carlos Mencia who is a racist, loud moron. There is a difference between real art and a fraud @Mencia but to each his own.  Thank you Dave, can i call you that, for making me laugh when I was frustrated/sad/annoyed/bored. As they say laughter is the best medicine and next time your feeling blue pop in killing them softly!

man+feelings=?

I am going to make a generalization here...women love feelings! Although there might be some women going, hey I hate that stuff! Most women have been brought up to embrace their feelings. Like Dave Chappelle said, "feelings are very important to women" and he is right. You see feelings and especially good ones make us very happy.


Now that our feelings are set in motion we must determine our comfort level with a guy's feeling. We usually want a guy who is "manly" yet expresses his deepest feelings only to you off course! More like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and less like Justin Guarini from that awful "movie" From Justin to Kelly.



Yes it is confusing women can be as feeling driven as they want but men take note there is a fine line. You have to be debonair, a softie on the inside, and tie it all up with mystique. Women often complain that a guy is not emotional enough but i bet we are more freaked out when he is "too" emotional"....if he is then we assume a. he is a mama's boy b. he was suppressed homosexual feelings c. he is creepy and or a liar persuate of  something! or maybe we can go with e. He is normal, nothing is wrong with him, and ahh men can show emotions and its ok!
 maybe that is why some guys choose not to show any emotions. Instead of complaining about them maybe we should figure out what we truly want and be content with it.

She aint nothing but a....

College is a time of self expression and discovery. It is a time when you question society and order. Why is that the way its "supposed to be". I have always been fascinated with how people interact and function. I wanted to be a peopleologist or perhaps a cultural anthropologist or sociologist. What really interests me nowadays is the stigma some women face. For most of my adult life i have always been viewed as the "good girl" or the nice girl by most guys but what makes me good and others bad/dirty/hos. Look at Rihanna she is good girl gone bad!





So what is a "bad" girl. Does she enjoy more sex than a "good" girl? or maybe she is active/blunt in her perusing sex and only sex. Is someone who is labeled a good girl not supposed to enjoy sex and embracing her sexuality. Although women somehow become ranked in this hierarchy we all were the same at point in life. I don't remember any 10 year old hos walking around my classroom as a child.

Whats important to note is not to demonize men for calling women hos but to look at it from a different perspective. All women regardless of their sexual endeavors should be respected... labeling women as inferior beings to other women is idiotic. In the wise words of Bob Marley, make sure your hands are clean before you start pointing fingers ie if she is a ho maybe you are too fella!

soulmates

Growing up no one is  immune to the movies and images of a dainty princess being scoped up by her prince charming. I always wondered if the part of "prince charming " was played by the same animated guy and if that was his first and last name or maybe it was a nickname...I dont have all the answers. Aside from the tangent i think that this idea never leaves our mind. Although we don't imagine some strange man in tights with a sword as our perfect match we all want to believe that theres only one person out there for us ie our soulmate!

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 Lets see theres over 6 billion people on this earth and if you narrowed it down to age group, sexual preference, common beliefs... you would end up with a good amount of people that would make a good match for you. but what separates the good mates from the soulmate? It is the person you fall in love with? what if you fall for more than one? Is one of them a betterer soulmate than the other? Its alot of questions that can't be answered or maybe they don't have an answer. Just like alot of our childhood views we come to see that the world is not so black and white. That most things are in the gray and few are absolute. So maybe you or I will meet our soulmate but if it doesn't work out maybe we will meet another one.

I've contemplated what my first blog should be about. Start off with some insightful words or a philosophical look at human nature? Nah i think i will look into that later but my first blog should be about something i am really interested in. God, good deeds, my hobbies nope nope and nope. Its about my new obsession, Pauly D from Jersey Shore. Yes its strange to be enamored with a reality star but i cant control what i feel. I only watch that stupid show to see what kinds of things he would say. He is a mixture of perfection, he is really funny and like me has tourrettes (not for real i hope) . Everytime he says something I swear i am rolling on the floor laughing. He cracks me up! If i was texting him i would actually mean it when i saw lol, lmao, rofl,.. because he is that funny! plus he seems really laid back and chill. I know that reality tv isnt really "real" but from what i see he seems to be the kind of guy i would want to hang around. That's the beauty of tv because if he ends up being  a deranged, tormented psycho he is far away from me and if he is as awesome as i think i can just admire him from afar. Its a win-win situation (like the word not that other guy from Jersey Shore).

soy quién yo soy

Hello blogging world! how are you?...Well we are going to get acquainted. I am Nujuma, i like to express  myself and im a horrible speller. You will have to be patient with me on that. If it sounds like a word in your head then thats what i really meant to say. Im aspiring to be a lawyer and maybe blogging will hone my writing skills although in the future i have to write long statements...sounds fascinating right? I also have a very strange obesession with hey arnold! honestly that show was pretty awesome. Every time i am at walmart and i pass by the freezer of ice i am reminded of that episode where Arnold had to get ice because it was incredibly hot but the ice melted on his way back. damn! by the way who buys ice from a store anymore thats just weird. Poor Arnold i hope one day he can buy ice and return back it time without it melting. I love spicy food!!! its the best invention, thank you silk road for uniting me with hot stuff. I cringe everytime i see someone smother food with ranch, condiments, or some bland item. Why not add a little hot sauce, rooster sauce, ground red peppers...hmm. If i could eat desserts with spices i would. it would probably be the worst tasting dessert but i'd do it to prove my love for spices. Like in movies where the guy does something humiliating to prove his love for the girl. Well from what i have already said you can see that im a pretty strange chick but it don't matter i just embrace it and theres alot more weirdness to come!